More Questions than Answers

I’ll need to keep this one short. In a little while, I will be taking my wife back to see her oncology nurse practitioner for a biopsy of a suspicious area related to her endometrial cancer surgery of a year and a half ago. The practitioner found it last week during a routine checkup. God willing, it will turn out to be nothing. But what if it doesn’t?

Both my wife and I have cancer. In my case, it’s never been completely eradicated, nor will it ever be. I’m under treatment to slow its growth but it hasn’t proven all that effective so far. My wife underwent surgery, radiation, and chemotherapy a year ago, and she doesn’t wish to repeat it again. For the time being we are both doing well enough. But what happens if her biopsy comes back as something other than negative for cancer? What happens if at my next appointment the doctor decides my treatment is no longer effective?

We’ve discussed what we will do in a “worst case scenario”, but not in great detail, because we are both dedicated to allowing God to work His designs in our lives. The outcome really isn’t that important because we understand we are victors regardless. Ultimately, we get to go home as friends to spend eternity in worship to God. But until that time we wish to glorify and honor Him before this world. Our desire is to make the most of our time here, no matter how much that might be.

God sometimes chooses to leave us with more questions than answers. It’s how He teaches us faith and trust, but our impatience makes us frustrated and angry because we interpret it as His not answering us at all. Until we learn to trust without reservation or condition, we are tempted to think of God as indifferent to our suffering and pain. When we finally are able to trust without reservation is when we finally receive his promised peace and contentment.

When God chooses to answer our questions about our cancers, we can finally proceed with our proposed plans. Until then, we wait and learn to be patient. The answers will be provided.


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